So I sit at the window every morning, looking at the Cambodia sky. It's been an experience so far, for good or bad, I can't tell just yet. After all, its only been 3 weeks.

The red building on the horizon. A building, a house, an office? All I know it is painted in red.

My two partners are still asleep, at 12.30pm. What pigs they are.

The streets of Phnom Penh are strangely quiet today.

Maybe it was a right decision not to have anything concrete before I left. Love, it seems, is never easy for me. Perhaps I'm just not cut out for a relationship. I cannot imagine myself making a solid commitment to any girl, calling her almost daily on the phone, sharing my life, outwardly showing the care and concern I sometimes don't even have towards my family and myself.

When it gets lonely, I just fade away. After all, black seemingly is better than red.

• Bryan

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