Another month or so has passed. New shoots have sprouted but will they grow and mature, to bear fuit? Time, will always tell.

So in the month of February, after 2 months in Phnom Penh and away from the warm, sheltered cocoon of family, friends and Singapore, my birthday has come and gone. Just so happened the opening day of the cafe coincided with my birthday. A memorable no less, sweating and slaving in the kitchen, rushing to get orders out, fending off pestering staff inquiries on when the food will be out when only 5 mins has passed. After cleaning up and closing, my partners and I headed down to Brahaus, a Singaporean owned German pub, to have a pint and review the day's activities. Not too bad a day and birthday, busy and low key, all at the same.

First birthday away from family and the usual group of friends. A little strange, a little sad at the same. Makes me appreciate them so much more. Yet, also appreciate Stephanie and Alex more also.

Chu xi of the Lunar New Year was spent also in the kitchen. But we had our first company meal at Nagaworld, with our staff! Expensive yet something poignant about that moment.

Chu yi was a quiet day. Cambodians choosing to stay at home or returning to the provinces and expats, most choosing to return home. A slow day. A day to review, reflect and re-strategise.

Alex, Stephanie and I spent 4 days operating our cafe. Loads of angst, frustration, anxiety yet joy, pride and excitement. We can only hope to do better and achieve more. What's ahead of us, we can't determine. All we can do is to work hard, work smart, be open minded about things and always strive and be better. The days to setup and the 4 operating days have been bone weary and taken a toil on the three of us. Working more than 18 hours a day and having only 4 hours of sleep. Finally the reset button has been pressed we spent the evening of chu yi resting, sleeping from 5pm to chu er's 11am, haa!

I hope business will be better over time and we can achieve what we set out for and so much more. Regardless, it has been an tremendous experience so far and hopefully, it will be a delightful one for the days ahead.

A little bird with white streaked wings, perched on a television relay pole.

It has been 4 to 5 days of cold weather in Phnom Penh. Yesterday it rained, the marble flooring felt chilly and we stayed home at day.

Life away from home, the parents, friends and Singapore has been better than I thought it would be. Independent living. Kinda like it. Handwashing my own clothes because there's no budget for a washing machine. Cooking my own meals. Washing up. Tidying the house etc.

Never did expect I would live my life this way. I have always thought I would grow up, get a job, make a decent career out of it and eventually settle down, get married and have a family. The usual, normal, typical life. Guess it isn't so now. Life does indeed have multiple roads for us to walk on.

Phnom Penh. A busy city, with lots of motobikes, scooters and big SUVs. The cityscape is of old country, a splash of colonial influence and a sprinkling of asian charm. A little chaotic at times and the crumbling sideways are a tad annoying at times. It's as if no one walks and everyone either rides or drives in this city. It's so much different from Singapore where things are sleek, clean, utilitarian to a certain extent. Maybe a little mess goes a long way to adding some colour and vibrancy to life.

So the journey continues as I adapt more to Phnom Penh. Always thought that if I would live overseas, it would be in other places like Taipei, New York.. But nope. As it is, Phnom Penh has a slight grip on this..."unbounded" heart of mine.

So I sit at the window every morning, looking at the Cambodia sky. It's been an experience so far, for good or bad, I can't tell just yet. After all, its only been 3 weeks.

The red building on the horizon. A building, a house, an office? All I know it is painted in red.

My two partners are still asleep, at 12.30pm. What pigs they are.

The streets of Phnom Penh are strangely quiet today.

Maybe it was a right decision not to have anything concrete before I left. Love, it seems, is never easy for me. Perhaps I'm just not cut out for a relationship. I cannot imagine myself making a solid commitment to any girl, calling her almost daily on the phone, sharing my life, outwardly showing the care and concern I sometimes don't even have towards my family and myself.

When it gets lonely, I just fade away. After all, black seemingly is better than red.

So here I am in Phnom Penh, starting a business, starting a new life. New beginnings are never easy, especially so when settling into a "i-think-its-beginning-to-develope" kind of country from the cosmo Singapore.

So far so good I guess, just missing the comforts of fast internet speeds, air-conditioning, decent transport system and so much more, ha!

A week has come and gone, many more to look forward to. Many more days looking at the blue sky, many more nights wandering into the dark one.

Every plane out of Phnom Penh is every wish life will be fine.

Time.

Goodbyes.

What do we make of them?

Departure is edging closer.

The goodbyes, so many, yet lacking.

I still remember and I can't forget.

So another day has passed and my mom is one year older. Before it gets way way too late, happy birthday mom! Its a miserable pity that this son of yours is dead broke this year, therefore there's no present. Hope the half a k Coach purse from last year makes up for a little of this year's disappointment.

So off we went as a family to The Square @ Novotel Clarke Quay for the birthday dinner. Didn't really interact much with the parents, spent time bitching with my brother instead. However the family did have good moments together. I guess that's how we are, reserved, withdrawn. Deep down, I like it.

Met up with Stan for a quick cuppa at Liquids Cafe. Chatted about some stuffs, gossip and cars. Mmm, MINI Cooper S Cabriolet...I like.

Guess there's much to do other than moping around. JPod to read, Apollo Justice to play, recipes to taste. Meeting up with friends and people who matter. Get back to running, swimming and hopefully more board/card gaming. All before I take my leave.

Sometimes I go too fast and when I slow down, nothing is as it seemed.

• Bryan

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